Category Archives: personal

about this blog: reviewing basics

week 52 of 2010
from Distrito Federal, Mexico

Once upon a time my research group suggested me to have a blog. My memories registered that the purpose of the invitation was to share between us. It made sense to me, but what to share and how to share it was blurry. I was following already some blogs (e.g. Frans Mäyrä, Henry Jenkins), and I never had a blog of my own, but there is always a first time, then I started my blog.

Consequently I started blogging without a virtual identity. I was mainly exploring and experimenting…. I had no idea of what I could, I want, I should do with the blog, which one will be its purpose and meaning, how to handle it, for whom…. Clear examples of my blog’s blurry beginning are my posts from 2006 to early 2009.

In late 2009 my posts started to have a clearer purpose and audience: to share my experiences with individuals who have similar challenges and interests than mine. As a result, some of my latest posts have supported me explicitly while talking with others.  My posts are outcomes of my learning journey. Each post is a mini-informal article where I write some sort of analysis or reflection, ideally with references and some writing effort.

Thus, an evident fact emerged while starting to have a virtual personality and purpose: my blog requires time, discipline and a concept if I want to make it useful.  Puff! it is not easy, sounds as a commitment!  but I know it will be useful, then here I go! 🙂

Resuming, the renewal basics of  “what am I doing” blog:

AUDIENCE:

  • Individuals who identify with my interests (e.g. discovering, enjoying, learning, games, technology, life) and challenges (e.g. be a researcher, thinking, writing).
  • Family and friends who want to follow what and where I am.

ITS PURPOSE:

  • Support me to learn while writing my blog
  • Support the blog’s readers (including me) to get something while reading it.

HOW

  • Writing mini-informal articles with some sort of analysis, reflection of my interests and challenges, ideally with references and some writing effort.

WHEN

  • I attempt to have minimum a weekly post (it happens a lot in a week!)

Today I understand that my blog will always be _work_under_construction_ but, life and internet are always under construction  😉

how to blog?

Source photo here

beyond games…

My research is in Hypercontextualized Games (HCG), and this blog is mainly finding myself within my research that, in itself, is a challenge. But after the last two weeks, I saw how my PhD education is influencing my daily perception of things…. let me explain.

So far I have lived in four complete different countries, and visited over 25 more (I am a lucky one, I know). I refer to live in a country when I have been a minimum of two years without interruptions in the same city. Two years, in my opinion, gives an opportunity to start to merge with the host culture. Actually it is needed more time to merge, but in two years one goes beyond the novelty of the first year to find oneself in a context that is not “new” anymore in the second year.

Now, I do not consider myself an ethnographer, because I get involved with my new country, with the locals, I make empathy with them, I make friends, I join their culture, I make roots.  I do not compare my host country in anyway with a previous one, because each place is unique. Each of my countries is part of me. I am not in a country to analyze it with an “objective” reference point or research agenda; instead I live my new country and I merge with its culture as much as I can. It is my country too, I grow with it. Nevertheless, I admit that to have roots in different locations allow me to perceive similar things from different perspectives. I give a value to it, and for me that is a gift of discovery.

Perhaps due to my recent research training, in the last weeks while I was in Mexico (due to an emergency), and after 10 continuous years to be out of the country, I documented events and things with an ethnographic influence. One example is a reflection of the ICT system in the Mexican health system.

In México we have very good medical doctors. For example the hospital I was “working” the first days of November,  Hospital Juarez carries different types of medical research. The hospital has an ICT infrastructure. From my perspective, according of what I notice,  it is used for charging the fees and host the website. The clinical data is handle on paper (hard copy). Perhaps, under an official visit at a directive level I would have seen a wider use of the ICT, but I was a patient’s family member, hence my perception of the ICT system is from the bottom-up.

Hospital's shelves of clinic histories

Hospital's shelves of clinic histories

On Dec 11, while waiting for some medical information, I confirm that ICT by itself will not help to develop a person, or organization or a country. I waited for HOURS (literal), the secretary did not have a PC and all her work was convey on paper. At some moment she decided that it was time for a break and left a note that she will be out for an hour for breakfast. Then, I started to wonder (I had enough time for that) how a PC would have changed that behavior? How ICT would help to improve the situation? (you know be involved in a research group of Educational Technologies with strong influence in ICT4D, well invite you to think in this stuff)

Secretary desk. It says: Lunch break from 10 to 11

Secretary desk. It says: Lunch break from 10 to 11

Honestly, the ICT alone would not have changed a thing. I can imagine the  same desk with a PC instead of her notebooks and still making me wait per hours, and still a note saying: “breakfast time from 10 to 11”.  Perhaps the paper work system could be done more efficiently if it is in a digital format, assuming that the program matches and hopefully improves the actual administrative system.  Hence, a probability to reduce waiting time could be present. But honestly, it is needed to improve the attitude of the public servants even before the ICT implementation. Increasing their education and attitude before, during and after an ICT implementation is mandatory.

Still, I am thankful with this specific secretary,  because thanks to her my issue was solved on the same day instead to wait several days. Even though I was only picking up one paper which should have been ready even a day earlier.

However the hours of waiting made me realized and confirm that the technology by itself will not trigger “development”, “innovation”  or change things anywhere. It does not matter if it is Mexico, USA, Finland or Timbuktu. From my perspective, to promote development, innovation and changes we need to observe and understand things from two perspectives: from a top-bottom level AND from the bottom-up level too. The task is not simple.

One step at the time!

“it takes what it takes” by Antti

For a lover of games and learning, (aka me), it has been difficult to understand the rules of the game in research: “publish or perish”.  But by reading Thiagarajan and David Lorge Parnas I conclude that I am playing with other rules 😉

My inner voice guided me to pursue this path of research. It is a personal call, I  love what I do. My research topic is my passion, and I am  interested that the outcome of my efforts could support real life besides academia, for example in industry, business, ONG.

Hence, it is taking me TIME to walk my path, because:

It takes TIME to know what am I doing?

It takes TIME to find my literature (in addition, when I arrived to my research group the research on games was nonexistent)

It takes TIME to read and listen a vast amount of books, journals, articles, blogs, individuals, …

It takes TIME to digest all the information

It takes TIME to conceptualize

It takes TIME to implement, test, use…

It takes TIME to find your angels on the way (people who help you to improve)

It takes TIME to understand the context that surround all the points mentioned above

It takes TIME to learn to write

It takes TIME to write

In addition, thinking is complex. THINKING TAKES TIME and EFFORT.

Hence, within my journey, in several moments I was convinced that I am too slow.  Actually, saying slow is the most constructive reaction, because the feeling of impotence is huge. But something crystallized while talking with Antti: I belong to other type of researchers, of those  subscribe to slow-science.

The slow moment is present in other areas of our life as well, for example: slow-food, slow-living.  By the way, one shouldn’t misinterpret the word slow. Antti describes it so well: “it take what it takes”.  That is all, the best example of this concept is a new human life which requires nine months until s/he is born, and several years until s/he is self-sufficient.  “It takes what it takes”.

Articles that support the concepts behind slow-science, which in my humble opinion must be read are: “stop the numbers game” from Parnas, and the blog of Erik Proper. Also, in an indirect way, but good article from game research is “How I designed a game – and discovered the meaning of life” by Thiagarajan. 

Hence I am still in my personal race, and I know I live in this planet and I need to balance its rules. But it makes me feel relief knowing that it is normal, the growth process requires time. Thank you Antti for the chat and references!

it takes what it takes to grow

CC image, source here

the race is with oneself…

Finally, I can talk with facts. After almost a dozen of rejections, today I start to move.   A peer reviewed article “Involvement of non-technical individuals in the design of successful digital games” is finally published. I am moving! Slowly but moving 🙂

I am aware that still I am on my race, because the goal hasn’t been met yet. But I am learning to jump  🙂

Thank you to each one of the persons who are supporting me to improve. Without each one of you I will be lost.

Now to focus, because THE BIG obstacle is next!

obstacle race

CC image, source here

sprint of 20 days (aprox)

It is hard to explain my actual situation to anyone, it just is.

August 2010  a milestone month for myself.  My aim is to deliver a complete draft of my thesis to  Erkki before he leaves to Mozambique. I am behind schedule, challenges are popping, light is also showing up,  and the time is flying fast….

challenges, speed and light

challenges, speed and light

source of photo here (CC)